101 Great Cuss/Swear Word Alternatives

Bad Words: Things to Say Instead of Cursing

If you have children, are around them often, or even work at a school, you know how hard it is to come up with creative alternatives to cussing. Here is a list of 101 great words and phrases that you can use instead of swearing! Feel free to to use any of these with your own kids and add your best words and phrases to the list!

  1. Shnookerdookies!
  2. Fudge nuggets!
  3. Cheese and rice!
  4. Sugar!
  5. God bless America!
  6. Poo!
  7. Snickerdoodle!
  8. Banana shenanigans!
  9. Six and two is eight!
  10. God bless it!
  11. Barbara Streisand!
  12. Fiddlesticks!
  13. Jiminy Crickets!
  14. Son of a gun!
  15. Egad!
  16. Great Scott!
  17. Caesar’s ghost!
  18. Merlin’s beard!
  19. Merlin’s pants!
  20. Shucks!
  21. Darn!
  22. Dagnabbit!
  23. Dang rabbit!
  24. Dadgummit!
  25. Jumpin’ Jiminy!

26. Gee willickers!
27. Gee whiz!
28. Cheese whiz!
29. Good night!
30. Sam Hill!
31. Son of a monkey!
32. Son of a bucket!
33. William Shatner!
34. Son of a motherless goat!
35. Judas Priest!
36. Gosh darn it!
37. Shut the front door!
38. Holy cow!
39. Horse pucky!
40. Geez!
41. Sufferin’ succotash!
42. Son of a mother trucker!
43. Fudge berries!
44. Geez Terwilligers!
45. Mothersmucker!
46. Cornnuts!
47. Poo on a stick!
48. Aw, duck water!
49. Jerk water!
50. Dillweed!

51. Oh, snap!
52. OMG!
53. Fraggle rock!
54. Phooey!
55. Bogus!
56. Bull spit!
57. Crap!
58. Crikey!
59. Scuddle butt!
60. Shuzzbutt!
61. Son of a biscuit!
62. Leapin’ lizards!
63. Oh my gosh!
64. Oh my goodness!
65. Peanut butter and jelly!
66. Drat!
67. Oh, man!
68. Oh, dear!
69. Criminy!
70. Mother of pearl!
71. Tartar sauce!
72. Fish paste!
73. Fart knocker!
74. Hobknocker!
75. Pokémon!

76. Golly gee!
77. What the frog!
78. Kitty whiskers!
79. Barnacles!
80. Eat soap!
81. Eat slugs!
82. Go lick a duck!
83. For Pete’s sake!
84. I don’t give a Donald Duck!
85. Cheeses!
86. Pluck it!
87. Yuck fou!
88. Aww, noodles!
89. Hamburgers!
90. Geez Louise!
91. Fishsticks!
92. Frack!
93. Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!
94. What the cuss!
95. Narf!
96. Marklar!
97. Shitake mushrooms!
98. Son of a nutcracker!
99. Raspberries!
100. Shikaka!
101. Mecrob!

If these 101 great cussword alternatives just aren't enough, check out Holy Rackafratz! 101 More Funny Swear/Cuss Word Alternatives!

Q: Is it possible to cuss politely?

A: You're darn tootin'!

Funny, Faux Curse Words that Start with "F" or "S"

adjectives that start with "f"
nouns that start wit "f"
adjectives that start with "s"
nouns that start with "s"
schoolboy (or girl)!
flower, flowerpot!
Combine these words with others (as in "father Christmas!" or "fiscal responsibility!"), with others on the list (like "fresh sourdough!" or "freckled Freud!"), or use the nouns alone.

Words That Are Almost Always Funny

pickle, nut, butter, bumfuzzle, dollop, doodle, giggle

Out of these alternative cuss words, which is YOUR favorite?

  • Banana Shenanegans!
  • Shnookerdookies!
  • Marklar!
  • Fishsticks!
  • Shitake Mushrooms!
  • God Bless America!
  • Go Lick a Duck!
  • Son of a Monkey!
  • Barbara Streisand!
  • Mecrob!
See results without voting

Comments 60 comments

Anonymous 7 days ago

Shut the full cup.

shrektrek 4 weeks ago

Never use Number 33 at Comic-con. not speaking from experience, it just doesn't sound like a good idea

deepforest 2 months ago

These are pretty hilarious. Personally, I never started swearing in the first place, but I do hiss. Pain response: ssssssssst. Tense moments in movies tend to be fffffffffff....and my typical reaction to something going wrong is "well, CRUD"

DownUnder 2 months ago

I like "What the Fun?!"

I say God Bless it and God Bless America A LOT!!

Mysterious 3 months ago

Aw, baby ducks

Aaron Coles 3 months ago

I say son of a brachiosaurus

jolteon 5 months ago

Son of a female dog!

EARTHQUAKE 6 months ago

How about son of a butt

Or you piece of trash

Even mother of butter

Dart 7 months ago

I say "pisser." That should be #102. Or is it a swear word?

Jain doe 9 months ago

Holy crumpets

Somebody that you use to know 10 months ago

I say

"Oh my dog!"

ben mango 12 months ago

Well I'll be shipped in dip! is my favorite. It beats being dipped in you know what.

Samuel 12 months ago

What about "(Dodge Challenger/Charger SRT) Hellcat" instead of "h*ll," "Jean-Claude Van-Damme" instead of "d**n," or "stomatch cramps" instead of "cr*p"?

anonymous 13 months ago

Shazbot to replace s**t

Claudia 16 months ago

I say "fridge" or "what the fridge"

Anonymous 17 months ago

What the halo!?@!?!@!&?!?&$

Scott 18 months ago


Bilgewater 19 months ago

Here's another one:


Marie 20 months ago

i have a British friend and you do not want to ever use #74!!!! It has a not nice not use in England!!!!found out the hard way!

Adelaine Smalls 20 months ago

I don't mean to be a nuisance, but I had recently looked up the definition of hobknocker, and one of it's more... inappropriate definitions is not something I would allow small children nor teenagers use.

Stephen 23 months ago

Holy buckets is about my favorite

TMApsey profile image

TMApsey 24 months ago from Wisconsin, USA Author


Anonymous 24 months ago

This list is hilarious! I say "shoot" or "sugar" and "Maple Syrup" (like Canada from Hetalia Axis Powers). Sometimes I quote the BFG (e.g. filthy fizzwiggler, flush-bunking, scrotty, bootboggler, crodwallop etc). Here are some I came up with off the top of my head:

- Sheesh kebabs

- Son of a Witch!

- Dingbat - for "d***head"

- Dingle-hopper

- Bleep, bleep it - replaces the F-Bomb

- Oh woe! (What On Earth)

- Holy Fudge-nuts

- Flipping frogs

- Mother-Puffin - instead of 'motherf***'

- Oh my Land! (from Wreck-It Ralph)

- Oh bother and blow it!

- Drat it!

- Rat-bag

- Wicked Witch - a 'b***' or any spiteful person

- Fiddlesticks

- Go fly a kite! - "go away"

zoey 2 years ago

I use "Jeesum Crow" from the play Almost, Maine quite often to replace Jesus Christ

broussardleslie profile image

broussardleslie 2 years ago

Awesome Hub! So helpful! FYI, found it by Google search for "clean curse words."

something 2 years ago

I like fudge as in f

WiccanSage profile image

WiccanSage 2 years ago

Ha love these! What a great collection-- growing up, my parents got me in the habit of saying "sugar"-- so much sweeter than what we were really thinking (another s word). Thanks for the smiles, these were cool.

Sean Templin 2 years ago

Crud Munchkins

amiebutchko profile image

amiebutchko 2 years ago from Warwick, NY

VERY funny and useful! I love "bull spit" and "I don't give a Donald Duck." I think I'll use BOTH today. My little son will love it - I can't wait to see his wide eyes.... My grandpa used to say, "Cheese and Crackers!" emphasizing the first and last word. I love it.

Yupper 2 years ago

This was funny, thanks. Flippin', freakin', geez. Couple some friends gave used is shhhhh & holy shiver.

FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Oh my stars!

Ehehehehe 2 years ago

I like holy cheeseits and I've used fudge as a replacement for a lot of common cusses, and one of my favorites is whenever someone it telling me something I don't care about 'this is how many flying ducks I give' then I show my make the gesture for zero.

TMApsey profile image

TMApsey 2 years ago from Wisconsin, USA Author

I asked all my friends and family members. It was a lot of fun.

Holly 2 years ago

HA hA!!! Good words. Where did you get all those

Potty Mouth 3 years ago

I like "cheese and rice".

Knockle 3 years ago

Mine are:

"By my hairy legs!" (as in wtf)

"What the flabbergast" (as in wtf)

"What the flutecake" (as in wtf)

"Confuddle and befound" (as in f--- this)

"Confound and confusticate" (as in f--- this)

"Right in Pickoodle's Noodle" (as in right in the loins; rarely used)

"Holy schizophrenia" (as in holy sh--)

"Flibbertigibbet" (as in f---)

"Pickled pansy" (as in arsehole)

Metalhobbit7 profile image

Metalhobbit7 3 years ago

You're still expressing the idea of anger, or of being upset. That's what profanity is for. Somehow saying a word that sounds KIND OF like it but ISN'T QUITE the actual word, is okay. Just say the actual word, you're still conveying the idea of the word. After all, it's just a word. A certain combination of vowels and consonants, that, if read or typed uncensored, according to some, will conjure the wrath of God. It's just stupid.

Corey 3 years ago

I like to use "Mother Father!"

epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..fookin' nice - says the epi-man from lake erie time ontario canada 11:58am and holy shite it's getting cold here too.

Josh 4 years ago

Got down.. sat on a bench!

A little practice 4 years ago

I just wanted to drop a note to say Yuck Fou to all those fother muckers who think that cheese and rice didn't die for your sins. Those Mothersmuckers can lick my duck!

You might think you're not going to H-E-double hockey sticks, but that is complete and utter BULL SPIT!!!

mystery 4 years ago

Yeah I don't swear I just like to use these, like jiminy cricket, cheese and rice, darn, fother mucker (i get yelled at for that one), fudge, butts (this is a big one), and sometimes balls if im really really mad

Sweets21 profile image

Sweets21 4 years ago

LOl I have actually used some of those up there!! I also use the phrase "Fudge Cake" as an alternative lol...Great hub!!

CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC

Awesome alternatives! Some of these have been used in my house. Thanks for more ideas! voted up and shared

TMApsey profile image

TMApsey 4 years ago from Wisconsin, USA Author

I like "Pants!" That's a great one! I'll have to try it sometime!

Ciel Clark profile image

Ciel Clark 4 years ago from USA

Ha! Great list. Definitely a funny click. I struggled to make the switch when I taught small children. Sometimes I would pause with my mouth open so I could make sure of what I was about to say.

Friends who knew me as a teen think it is hilarious to hear me come out with the ones I use from your list: Fiddlesticks! Crikey! Phooey!

One I borrowed from my English sister-in-law:

"Pants!" (underwear)

leann2800 4 years ago

This is so great. I made my son copy a definition out of the dictionary if he cussed when he was little. I told him he sounded ignorant using 4 letter words and that he couldn't actually be uninformed.So, he had to learn a word if he used one. If he used multiple words, he could copy the dictionary all day. He is a smart kid and figured out that he did not want to copy that whole book and stopped after the first time. But, I bet he would have liked your list of suggestions a lot better.

Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Dear Theresa ~ Gave you bunches of #OMG clicks above for laughter, fun, useful and awesome list of substitute words. Very much enjoyed the fun. Be well, Debby

jenubouka 4 years ago

Oh how I need this right now, my son is catching on to my horrible bad language... This was absolutely the best way to start my day. I have been using the "go fly a kite" quite a bit, yet then my son starts literally looking for a kite to fly, oh well.


Jaymye Allen profile image

Jaymye Allen 5 years ago from Sherman, Texas

What the French, Toast? Is a favorite of mine ever since that Orbit Gum commercial... Now I can add some to my arsenal, Lordy knows, my boys can surely give me a run for my money.... SSSSHHHHugar tops my list daily. Thanks!

jfay2011 profile image

jfay2011 5 years ago


I take it you have read that book that guy wrote for adults? Bleep the Bleep Up and go to bed? I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard about it. Sounds funny. However, I will say that I have never said that to my kids. I think it's awful when parents really say that to their children. I'm sure it happens all the time. I've been happy to grow up in a good environment and set the same standards for my children. I've recently written a few hubs on raising children. I've raised four of them, and they're still growing. They'll always be my babies, even once they're all grown up and left the nest. Still feeding them worms right now. Just kidding.

prektjr.dc profile image

prektjr.dc 5 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

I would probably get that one tangled up and have too much explaining to do!!

ronnoco profile image

ronnoco 5 years ago from Ireland

I tell my kids to Shut the Uck Fup and go to bed!

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

Fraggle Rock! These are HILARIOUS!!! I literally lol'd a couple of times. Can't wait to take some of these for a spin!

TMApsey profile image

TMApsey 5 years ago from Wisconsin, USA Author

Thanks everyone, I had lots of fun making this one!

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....well I love this so much I will be posting this to my Facebook page with a direct link back here ......

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Great hub with some good suggestions, I found humor in some as well! I just remember that the one keeping score knows my intent as I replace thoughts with clean words spoken, instead of the cussing. It is better to never need replacement words, but I'm guilty of the gosh dern things my self, just not as often as I used to do, 50

sj_workman79 profile image

sj_workman79 5 years ago from New Hampshire

Ha ha these are great! I'll have to remember them next time I almost swear in front of my 3 1/2 year-old neice.

prektjr.dc profile image

prektjr.dc 5 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

Snickerfritz! and Shoota Monkey! have saved me a time or two! Of course, what did a monkey ever do to you usually followed! Cute hub! I voted up, useful and funny!

Vikki Jorgensen 5 years ago

Son of a Basket Weaver. . .

Crap on a Cracker!

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